The White Swan and The Broken Wings (part 2)

I held my breath. Why was he here?

“Sit down, please.” Hye Ji-ssi pointed at the empty couch beside him.

I just walked pass him and sat beside Hye Ji-ssi.

Hye Ji just smiled slightly. I guessed she understood me very well.

“So, Yang Yoseob ssi, this is my student, Bae Su Ji, who punched you few days ago, I guess you already knew her.”

The unnecessary greeting for introducing me sounded so uncomfortable for me.

He nodded. “Ne, I knew her… very well…”

My heart raced faster.

“Su Ji-ah... please show your good attitude... Please do apologize to him...”

Mwo?! Apologize to him? I gazed at Hye Ji-ssi.

“Ah, no. It’s okay. Su.. Ji.. ssi doesn’t need to apologize to me...”

I glared at him.

“I actually came here because I am so disturbed with the rumor... I thought if I came here to meet Su Ji-ssi... we could clarify the rumor out there... but, as Hye Ji-ssi had said to me the rumor will eventually vanish... So, I thought I will have to endure it a little bit longer...”

I clenched my fist.

“I think, I have to go now...” He stood up. “Excuse me...”

Hye Ji-ssi also stood up. “So you’re really okay with that, Yoseob-ssi?”

He nodded. “Excuse me, Hye Ji-ssi... Su Ji-ssi...” He walked outside the office followed by Hye Ji-ssi.

I still sat in silence here. I almost lost my breath. I sweated a lot. I think, I need to take some medicine.

Few seconds later Hye Ji-ssi came back to her office.

“Su Ji, are you okay? You looked so pale?” She placed her hand on my forehead. “You sweat a lot.”

She ran and came back with a glass of water. “Here, drink this.”

I gulped the water immediately. And still it’s hard to breathe.

“Sleep here for a while.” Hye Ji ssi pulled my legs and took it on the couch. I lied my head and tried to breathe calmly, I need to calm myself.

***

“Okay! Class dismissed. Audition will be held next two days. Keep practicing and take a good rest, girls.” Hye Ji-ssi shouted to all the whole class in this dance room.

Class began so quiet. Some of them went home. Only few girls here, still practicing their moves and flexibility.

“Su Ji, you don’t go home? It’s late. You should take a rest. Don’t force yourself.” Hye Ji ssi stood beside me.

“It’s okay. I’ll stay here a little longer.”

“I’m sorry about today...”

“It’s okay Hye Ji-ssi...” I cut her words. “I’m okay.”

“Geurae... I trust you...” She walked out the room as she shouted to the other girls in the dance room “Girls, hurry go home, don’t stay up late!”

I’m okay. I’m sure. I’m really okay. I won’t let anyone bother my life anymore. Not even him!

Slightly, his figures came to my mind. He never change. I recognized him as I saw him a year ago at the entrance ceremony. He stood few meters in front of me. My heart skipped a beat. It was him. I just hid myself behind others’ students. Fortunately, he didn’t see me. Soon, I realized that he took music class. Majorly in vocal and instruments. I can’t say I’m a stalker, but I sometimes check on him. I sometimes see him practicing singing or playing piano or guitar. He never look at me. He never realize my existence. And I hope he will never do.

However, few months ago, I saw him practicing dancing with some of his friends in annex building next to Ballet Class building. I saw him through the window in this room.

I stopped my moves. I looked around the room. Nobody was here. They already went home and I didn’t even realize it. I walked slowly to the window in the corner of the room. I opened the curtain hanging on the window and quietly see the annex building through this window. That annex building was dark. No one there. I thought, he stopped coming there since a month ago. I was afraid. I was very afraid he stopped coming because he knew me watching him almost every night from here. For almost a year, I hid my existence from him. But, he finally found me. He finally knew. I closed the curtain and walked away. I checked my phone. Five missed calss. Three texts. All from Eomma.

 Where are you?

Where are you? Answered eomma’s call

Where are you? Ppali, go home.

Eomma, she never changed. She is always overprotective to me.

I’m going home now.

I sent short text to eomma.

I put all my stuffs inside my backpack and left Ballet Class building quietly. I was about going out of the building when I saw someone walked alone to the annex building.

Is it him?, I thought.

I sneaked out into the annex building. It was him. I followed him slowly and quietly.

“Who’s there?” He turned his body to me. Fortunately, the area between Ballet Class building and annex building was rather dark, so he didn’t recognize me. I stopped my step. He came front to me. A single step. I walked backward. A single step.

“Who’s there? Who are you?!!” He shouted.

I ran away left him. I dashed as fast as I could. Left Ballet Class building to the main gate of this school. I had to go out from this school as fast as I could.

“YAA!! DON’T RUN!!” He chased me.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” I screamed along the way to the main gate. It was there. I dashed faster.

Braaaaaaakkk! I tripped. I hit someone.

“Are you okay?” A security tried to help me to stand. But, I refused it. Ah, I hit this security ahjussi.

“Ah ne, ahjussi. Gwenchana...”

“What happened?” He asked me. He might heard my scream and thought something bad happened to me.

“Aniya...”

“YAAAA!! DON’T RUN !! WAIT!!” Oh no! He still chased me.

“Ahjussi, kamsahamnida!”

I ran again left that ahjussi alone and confused.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAA” I screamed and dashed even faster. I didn’t care what happened behind me. I just ran and ran. I must stay away from him.

***

I woke up in the morning with the feeling of extremely exhausted. It seemed like I have run for hundreds miles.

“Su Ji. Su Ji. Wake up!” eomma shouted and hit my door.

“Ne. Eomma...”

I looked at my legs. There were bruises on both my legs. It was because I tripped last night. 

“Eomma will scold me...” I mumbled.

I lied my body on bed again.

I’ll just skip today’s class, I thought.

“Su Ji-ah...” Eomma knocked my door and went into my room. “Why are you still lying on bed? Are you sick?”

“I don’t want to go to school today...”

Mom placed her hand on my forehead. “Why? You’re not sick.” Mom realized that my body temperature was normal.

“Eomma, just let me rest today. Tomorrow, I will have an audition...”

Eomma looked at me calmly, as if she really understood her daughter flicker heart and mind.

She sighed and left my room. “I’ll call a doctor, then”

“What doctor? I don’t want more doctor!!! I’m sick of it!!” I yelled.

Eomma smashed the door.

I still lied in bed. The blanket covered my body. It’s been an hour. I just stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Excuse me... Su Ji-ah...” Someone knocked the door.

I stayed silent. I knew it was that doctor.

“May I come in?”

I stayed silent. I didn’t want to answer her.

She opened the door and entered my room.

I still didn’t move.

She walked to the bed and placed her black-typically-doctor’s bag on the floor. She is a tall woman with slim and slender body. Eventhough, she has wrinkles, she is still beautiful. And her face reminds me a lot to my Ballet Teacher, Kim Hye Ji-ssi. This doctor is her twin sibling, her name is Kim Hye Ri.

“Su Ji ah... What happenede with you? Why don’t you want to go to school?”

I turned away my face to avoid eye-contact with her. I was always afraid of this woman. Eventhough, she is twin sibling of Hye Ji-ssi, she brought different aura and atmosphere. Hye Ji-ssi is calm. Hye Ri-ssi is scary.

I closed my body with my blanket and pretended to sleep.

She’s been there for thirty minutes. I still stayed silent.

“You don’t want to talk to me?” She sighed. “Well, okay, then, I’ll leave.”

I heard she wrote something. “I’ll leave you some medicines and some notes for you to read.”

She put it on the desk beside my bed and left my room.

I got up and took the note.

Take this medicine twice a day. After breakfast and before sleeping. This will calm your nerves.

I crumbled and tossed the note to the floor. I just unreasonably wailed and wailed.

***

I missed some steps and moves. It was because my bruises. Today’s audition went very bad for me. In the end I just simply failed. I put my ballet shoes in the locker. Somehow, I didn’t regret my failure.

“Su Ji, can I talk to you?” I saw Hye Ji-ssi was standing on the edge of the loker room.

“Ye...” I nodded and follow her direction to her office.

“What bothers you actually? You seemed so blank and out of focus today. If you try harder today, you can pass this audition. You can be main character for this annual ballet play...”

“Enough...” I mumbled. “I’m enough, I’m so enough with this...”

“What do you say?”

My tears fell down. “I’m so sorry Hye Ji-ssi, I’m so enough with this... I’m tired of being the best... I’m tired of being the main character... I’m not as good as you think...”

Hye Ji-ssi hugged me. “Cry.” She said “Cry as many as you want...”

I miss being hugged. I wanna be hugged. I cried even louder.