Bitter-Sweet Macchiato

It was raining outside.

As usual, I sat alone in this café. A familiar waitress came to me.

“A cup of hot macchiato”, she said as she put it on my table. 

“Thank you.”

I looked outside the window.

“Will he come?” My mind wandered around him. 

I met him a week ago. It was a rainy day. I came alone to this café. He was standing next to me. We ordered same coffee. Macchiato.

“Macchiato, please”, we said to the waitress at the same time. 

I turned my face at him, he smiled at me.

“Hot or cold?”, asked the waitress.

“Hot, please”, we answered the waitress at the same time. 

I turned my face at him again, he smiled at me again.

“Two hot macchiato. Please wait a moment.” 

His phone rang. He walked away, busy talking on the phone. I glanced at him in silence.

“Here is your hot macchiato.” The waitress handed me hot macchiato. 

He kept talking on the phone. I passed by him, took my umbrella, and left the café.  

I still looked outside the window, hoping he would come again.

“Hot macchiato. Please wait a moment.” I heard a voice of a waitress. 

I couldn’t believe what I saw. It’s him. Standing alone over there waiting for his macchiato.

His phone rang. He picked it up. I faintly heard what he said.

“Where are you?”, he hesitated. “Ok, I’m waiting for you at café.”

“Here is your hot macchiato”, said the waitress as he hung up his phone.

He paid the macchiato, walked outside, and stood in front of the café. 

I looked at him silently through the window.

One minute.

Once in a while he sipped his macchiato.

Three minutes.

I was still not moving. He was still not moving.

Five minutes. 

Suddenly, a man with red umbrella ran toward him.

He kissed that man on lips.

Then, they strolled along the sidewalk under that sweet red umbrella.

I smiled bitterly and sipped my macchiato.

“Ah, bitter-sweet.”, I said to myself.

-ultrautogia-

Do You Believe Me?

"Why do you lie?" her tears fell down.
"What? I never lie to you? Why are you like that?" I defended myself. 
"You lie! I'm still waiting for you! You promise me! Why do you lie?!!" she wailed out loud. 
My body was so stiff.
"I don't get it. I don't know what you mean..." I mumbled. 
"You! You said you'll only give your love to me! You said you'll only give your heart to me! But what? What did you do? You still go out with that damn bitch!" She punched my chest. 
I clenched my fist. 
"Fine!!" I yelled "If that's what you want, If that can make you believe me, I really will give you my love, I really will give you my heart!" 
I took a knife, ripped my chest, grabbed my bloody throbbing heart, and gave it to her. 
"Do you believe me now?"

-ultrautogia-

inspired by Peud and Gob of ATM Errak (Thailand Movie)

Lonely Road Lonely Highway

lonely road
your steps unheard
in silence, in crowd

lonely highway
your path in dismay
in no sounds, in no ray

sound of breath lingers around
sound of sigh bothers around
in heat, in cold

hold on tight in your emptiness
hang on tight in your vanity
all done, all gone

With no ends
With no sense 
in lonely road, in lonely highway

-ultrautogia-

Sempat Memiliki.

Aku menghela nafas panjang. Hari ini datang juga.

Aku tidak akan bisa terus-terusan menghindari realita. Ya, aku harus terus berjalan bahkan berlari. Hidupku pun begitu. 

Aku menghampirinya. Menghampiri cinta pertamaku yang ada di depan mata.

Dia menatapku dalam diam.

“Hai, apa kabar?”, sapaku sambil tersenyum.

“Hai, apa kabar juga?” Dia membalas senyumku. “Kamu sendirian?”

Aku mengangguk.

“Oh ya, perkenalkan…”, sambungnya “Ini istri dan anak-anakku.”

Aku tersenyum kecil.

-ultrautogia-

#FF2in1

Telepon Aku

Pukul 21.00

Telepon aku. Pesan singkat itu terpampang di layar handphoneku.

Tidak. Aku tidak akan meneleponmu. 

Pukul 21.30

Telepon aku sekarang. Lagi-lagi pesan singkat itu terpampang di layar handphone.

Tidak. Aku tidak bisa meneleponmu.

Pukul 22.00

Cepat. Telepon aku !! 

Tidak. Saat seperti ini seharusnya kamu yang meneleponku.

Pukul 22.30

Handphoneku berdering. Lelaki itu mengangkatnya. 

“Halo? Siapa ini?!”, bentak seseorang di seberang.

“Ya, halo. Maaf pak, apa anda kenal dengan pemilik handphone ini? Tadi dia meninggal kecelakaan. Sekarang sudah di ruang mayat rumah sakit…”

Tut. Tut. Tut.

Telepon terputus.

-ultrautogia-

#FF2in1

Do You Remember Me? (part 4)

It’s almost two months since the last time I met her. My hectic schedules kept forcing me like crazy. And my thought about her could kill me slowly. I have to meet her. No matter what. 

I grabbed my bike. I knew it’s already late at night. But I don’t dare to go outside at bright day. I pedaled it to the hospital.

It’s nearly 12AM.

I must be a stupid person. Who will come to see someone at hospital in this midnight? Only me.

But, somehow I believed I could meet her again. She might be sitting on the bench in the lobby or sleeping soundly in her room.  

I parked my bike on the parking lot. It’s quite silent.

The corridor was so silent. I only saw few people or nurses or doctors passed by.

I walked to room 289 and peeked at the small transparent window on the door.
It’s empty. No one there. 

“Where is she?”, I mumbled. I dragged my legs to the lobby. She might be there.

The sounds of my steps echoed all the way to the lobby. I stopped in front of the vending machine and looked around the lobby.
No one there. 

I sighed and sat on the bench in the middle of the lobby.

I knew it. I was really stupid. Just because I needed to meet her, I went straight to the hospital. She probably had gone home. Who would really mind to stay at the hospital for too long? 

“Excuse me.” Someone stood in front of me.

“Ne?” Ah! It was the nurse from the last time.

“Are you visiting someone?”, she asked me. 

“Animnida… Ehm… Actually… Yes…” 

“I’m sorry, but it’s too late at night. You can’t meet patient now.”

“Gwenchana, I’m going home anyway.” I stood up.

She went away to the front desk.

I walked to the front desk. “Excuse me… But can you tell me where patient Room 289 is. Yoo Ah Reum. Where is she?”

 “Ohh… Ahreum-ssi, she went home two months ago.” 

“Ah… I see. Kamsahamnida.” I turned my body.

“Wait a moment…”, called the nurse.

I looked at the nurse.

“Excuse me, but… are you Yang… Yangyo-ssi?”, she said as she read something on a paper.

“Yes, why?”

“Actually, Ahreum-ssi gave me this before she went home.” She handed me a small note.

I opened that paper. Numbers.

***

I opened my eyes.It’s already morning.

I took a deep breath. I’m still alive. 

I opened the window, felt the morning breeze for a while, and sat in front of the mirror.

I’m all alone again. All day and night. That’s my life will be till the day I die.

I smiled at my own reflection.

I somehow miss his smile. I’m afraid I’ll no longer see his smile.

It’s almost two months since the last time I saw him. He never visited me anymore. He might forget me.

Who am I actually? I am just nobody. A stranger. A random girl.

My phone rang. I stayed still in my seat. I heard my housemaid picked the phone. 

Five seconds… Fifteen seconds… Thirty seconds…

It must be mom. She likes to call me every hour just to check whether I am faint and need to be dragged to the hospital or not.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“Excuse me, Ahreum-ssi. A call for you.”

I opened the door. “Thank you.” My housemaid handed me the portable home-phone.

“Ne, umma? I’m awake and I’m still alive. Waeyo?” I said recklessly as I picked up the phone.

“Yoboseyo? Is this Ah Reum-ssi?” A stranger’s voice.

“Ah… yes... Who is this?” My heart skipped a beat.

“Do you remember me? It’s me. Yangyo… Yangyo oppa…”

My heart raced so fast. I can barely breathe. 

-to be continued- 

Last Forever

“Will you love me forever?” her voice triggered.

I hesitated.

“Will you love me forever?” she repeated.

I sighed.

“Will you love me forever?” she kept asking me.

I opened my mouth slowly. “But… But nothing lasts forever…”

“Our love will !” she insisted. “Our love will last forever !”

“But, we don’t last forever…”, I said sadly.

“We will !” She grabbed and bit my neck. I closed my eyes. I felt so painful.

I opened my eyes. Something changed in me.

“We will last forever.” She smiled at me, showing her beautiful pale face and bloody fangs.

-ultrautogia-

to someone who asked whether we would last forever or not