The White Swan and The Broken Wings (part 2)

I held my breath. Why was he here?

“Sit down, please.” Hye Ji-ssi pointed at the empty couch beside him.

I just walked pass him and sat beside Hye Ji-ssi.

Hye Ji just smiled slightly. I guessed she understood me very well.

“So, Yang Yoseob ssi, this is my student, Bae Su Ji, who punched you few days ago, I guess you already knew her.”

The unnecessary greeting for introducing me sounded so uncomfortable for me.

He nodded. “Ne, I knew her… very well…”

My heart raced faster.

“Su Ji-ah... please show your good attitude... Please do apologize to him...”

Mwo?! Apologize to him? I gazed at Hye Ji-ssi.

“Ah, no. It’s okay. Su.. Ji.. ssi doesn’t need to apologize to me...”

I glared at him.

“I actually came here because I am so disturbed with the rumor... I thought if I came here to meet Su Ji-ssi... we could clarify the rumor out there... but, as Hye Ji-ssi had said to me the rumor will eventually vanish... So, I thought I will have to endure it a little bit longer...”

I clenched my fist.

“I think, I have to go now...” He stood up. “Excuse me...”

Hye Ji-ssi also stood up. “So you’re really okay with that, Yoseob-ssi?”

He nodded. “Excuse me, Hye Ji-ssi... Su Ji-ssi...” He walked outside the office followed by Hye Ji-ssi.

I still sat in silence here. I almost lost my breath. I sweated a lot. I think, I need to take some medicine.

Few seconds later Hye Ji-ssi came back to her office.

“Su Ji, are you okay? You looked so pale?” She placed her hand on my forehead. “You sweat a lot.”

She ran and came back with a glass of water. “Here, drink this.”

I gulped the water immediately. And still it’s hard to breathe.

“Sleep here for a while.” Hye Ji ssi pulled my legs and took it on the couch. I lied my head and tried to breathe calmly, I need to calm myself.

***

“Okay! Class dismissed. Audition will be held next two days. Keep practicing and take a good rest, girls.” Hye Ji-ssi shouted to all the whole class in this dance room.

Class began so quiet. Some of them went home. Only few girls here, still practicing their moves and flexibility.

“Su Ji, you don’t go home? It’s late. You should take a rest. Don’t force yourself.” Hye Ji ssi stood beside me.

“It’s okay. I’ll stay here a little longer.”

“I’m sorry about today...”

“It’s okay Hye Ji-ssi...” I cut her words. “I’m okay.”

“Geurae... I trust you...” She walked out the room as she shouted to the other girls in the dance room “Girls, hurry go home, don’t stay up late!”

I’m okay. I’m sure. I’m really okay. I won’t let anyone bother my life anymore. Not even him!

Slightly, his figures came to my mind. He never change. I recognized him as I saw him a year ago at the entrance ceremony. He stood few meters in front of me. My heart skipped a beat. It was him. I just hid myself behind others’ students. Fortunately, he didn’t see me. Soon, I realized that he took music class. Majorly in vocal and instruments. I can’t say I’m a stalker, but I sometimes check on him. I sometimes see him practicing singing or playing piano or guitar. He never look at me. He never realize my existence. And I hope he will never do.

However, few months ago, I saw him practicing dancing with some of his friends in annex building next to Ballet Class building. I saw him through the window in this room.

I stopped my moves. I looked around the room. Nobody was here. They already went home and I didn’t even realize it. I walked slowly to the window in the corner of the room. I opened the curtain hanging on the window and quietly see the annex building through this window. That annex building was dark. No one there. I thought, he stopped coming there since a month ago. I was afraid. I was very afraid he stopped coming because he knew me watching him almost every night from here. For almost a year, I hid my existence from him. But, he finally found me. He finally knew. I closed the curtain and walked away. I checked my phone. Five missed calss. Three texts. All from Eomma.

 Where are you?

Where are you? Answered eomma’s call

Where are you? Ppali, go home.

Eomma, she never changed. She is always overprotective to me.

I’m going home now.

I sent short text to eomma.

I put all my stuffs inside my backpack and left Ballet Class building quietly. I was about going out of the building when I saw someone walked alone to the annex building.

Is it him?, I thought.

I sneaked out into the annex building. It was him. I followed him slowly and quietly.

“Who’s there?” He turned his body to me. Fortunately, the area between Ballet Class building and annex building was rather dark, so he didn’t recognize me. I stopped my step. He came front to me. A single step. I walked backward. A single step.

“Who’s there? Who are you?!!” He shouted.

I ran away left him. I dashed as fast as I could. Left Ballet Class building to the main gate of this school. I had to go out from this school as fast as I could.

“YAA!! DON’T RUN!!” He chased me.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” I screamed along the way to the main gate. It was there. I dashed faster.

Braaaaaaakkk! I tripped. I hit someone.

“Are you okay?” A security tried to help me to stand. But, I refused it. Ah, I hit this security ahjussi.

“Ah ne, ahjussi. Gwenchana...”

“What happened?” He asked me. He might heard my scream and thought something bad happened to me.

“Aniya...”

“YAAAA!! DON’T RUN !! WAIT!!” Oh no! He still chased me.

“Ahjussi, kamsahamnida!”

I ran again left that ahjussi alone and confused.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAA” I screamed and dashed even faster. I didn’t care what happened behind me. I just ran and ran. I must stay away from him.

***

I woke up in the morning with the feeling of extremely exhausted. It seemed like I have run for hundreds miles.

“Su Ji. Su Ji. Wake up!” eomma shouted and hit my door.

“Ne. Eomma...”

I looked at my legs. There were bruises on both my legs. It was because I tripped last night. 

“Eomma will scold me...” I mumbled.

I lied my body on bed again.

I’ll just skip today’s class, I thought.

“Su Ji-ah...” Eomma knocked my door and went into my room. “Why are you still lying on bed? Are you sick?”

“I don’t want to go to school today...”

Mom placed her hand on my forehead. “Why? You’re not sick.” Mom realized that my body temperature was normal.

“Eomma, just let me rest today. Tomorrow, I will have an audition...”

Eomma looked at me calmly, as if she really understood her daughter flicker heart and mind.

She sighed and left my room. “I’ll call a doctor, then”

“What doctor? I don’t want more doctor!!! I’m sick of it!!” I yelled.

Eomma smashed the door.

I still lied in bed. The blanket covered my body. It’s been an hour. I just stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Excuse me... Su Ji-ah...” Someone knocked the door.

I stayed silent. I knew it was that doctor.

“May I come in?”

I stayed silent. I didn’t want to answer her.

She opened the door and entered my room.

I still didn’t move.

She walked to the bed and placed her black-typically-doctor’s bag on the floor. She is a tall woman with slim and slender body. Eventhough, she has wrinkles, she is still beautiful. And her face reminds me a lot to my Ballet Teacher, Kim Hye Ji-ssi. This doctor is her twin sibling, her name is Kim Hye Ri.

“Su Ji ah... What happenede with you? Why don’t you want to go to school?”

I turned away my face to avoid eye-contact with her. I was always afraid of this woman. Eventhough, she is twin sibling of Hye Ji-ssi, she brought different aura and atmosphere. Hye Ji-ssi is calm. Hye Ri-ssi is scary.

I closed my body with my blanket and pretended to sleep.

She’s been there for thirty minutes. I still stayed silent.

“You don’t want to talk to me?” She sighed. “Well, okay, then, I’ll leave.”

I heard she wrote something. “I’ll leave you some medicines and some notes for you to read.”

She put it on the desk beside my bed and left my room.

I got up and took the note.

Take this medicine twice a day. After breakfast and before sleeping. This will calm your nerves.

I crumbled and tossed the note to the floor. I just unreasonably wailed and wailed.

***

I missed some steps and moves. It was because my bruises. Today’s audition went very bad for me. In the end I just simply failed. I put my ballet shoes in the locker. Somehow, I didn’t regret my failure.

“Su Ji, can I talk to you?” I saw Hye Ji-ssi was standing on the edge of the loker room.

“Ye...” I nodded and follow her direction to her office.

“What bothers you actually? You seemed so blank and out of focus today. If you try harder today, you can pass this audition. You can be main character for this annual ballet play...”

“Enough...” I mumbled. “I’m enough, I’m so enough with this...”

“What do you say?”

My tears fell down. “I’m so sorry Hye Ji-ssi, I’m so enough with this... I’m tired of being the best... I’m tired of being the main character... I’m not as good as you think...”

Hye Ji-ssi hugged me. “Cry.” She said “Cry as many as you want...”

I miss being hugged. I wanna be hugged. I cried even louder.

The White Swan and The Broken Wings (part 1)

“Evil!”

“Rotten!”

“Just go! die!”

I opened my eyes. My body was full of sweat and I barely could breathe. That dream again. It kept coming these days. I don’t know why… Is it because of that day?

I got up from my bed, took a bottle of water, and gulped it fast. I tried to clear my mind.

Did I imagine it? Did I see the right one?

***

Cherry blossoms bloomed beautifully this morning. The weather also felt so nice. But, I woke up late and did everything in a rush. How terrible was my life for beautiful day like this. I pedaled my bike to the parking lot. The first class would be starting in three minutes. I hurried and ran along the corridor. I arrived just in time. Class was so full and I couldn’t find any empty seat in the back. I finally found a seat on the second row, in the corner. Today’s subject is History of Korea or very boring subject, I might say. Thirty minutes later, I saw around the class… Everybody was busy playing their own gadgets or chit chatting or sleeping or listening to music from their headsets or anything else I couldn’t mention one by one. While, I just continuously yawned and tried so hard to keep opening my eyes. Before, I caught that face… A familiar face… I’ve seen that face before… 

Suddenly, my body was awake and my eyes opened widely. It’s not because the History subject was going interesting but that face pulled me to keep thinking of something slipped in my mind.

She was sitting in the front row. Six or seven seats away from me. I only saw her face slightly. Her hair kept moving and almost covering her side face as she took a note. Ah, she kept taking note on everything that the lecturer explained.

Weird girl. Doesn’t she feel bored?, I thought.

Well, but that’s not my point. I just felt, I’ve ever seen her face, somewhere. I couldn’t remember.

The bell rang. Class dismissed in a flash. All the students left their chairs. So did she.

Ah! I remember. I remember that face. But… Really? It’s really her? it can’t be !

I put my books and pen into my bag and was about to chase her to make sure that I was not wrong.

“Yoseob-ah! You’re late today…” Kikwang patted my shoulder, suddenly kikwang stood beside me.

“Oh, Kikwang-ah. Sorry. I have to go. I still have things to do.”

I left kikwang and ran outside class.

“Ya! Yoseob-ah? Oediga?”, Kikwang yelled at me and followed me behind.

She wasn’t there. She wasn’t everywhere. She disappeared.

“Ya! Yoseob-ah? Waeyo?”

I looked around. Many students passed this corridor. But, where did she go? How can she walk that fast?

“Yoseob-ah? Are you looking for someone?”

I looked at Kikwang. “Ah, kikwang! Aniya… I’m not looking for someone. Hmm… Let’s go to the next class!”

I might only imagine it. It might be someone else.

***

It was a week ago. My dreams kept coming since that day, haunted me every night. Sometimes, the story of the dream skipped from one to another, it’s like a puzzle that I have to finish. But, I still can’t do it.

Another History class today. I wonder if I meet her again or not. I came so early today so that I could pick a seat wherever I want.

“Yoseob-ah!”, Kikwang greeted me as I entered the class. “Come! Come here!” Kikwang pointed at the seat beside him. But it was too far away in the back. While, I had to make sure someone who seemed to always sit in the front, remembering how diligent she was a week ago.

“Oh! Kikwang ah!” I dashed to him and grabbed his arm. “Let’s sit in the front.”

“Mwo???” Kikwang stared at me confusedly and tried to let his arm go of me. “Shireoyo! It’s history class, I don’t want to ruin today’s nice weather by being stuck in History class!”

“Jebal... Just this time...” I pulled his arm and took him in the seat beside me. In the corner of second row.

“Ah... Waeyo?” He said as he put headset in his ears. “If something happens with me today, you have to take the responsibility.” He leaned his arms on the desk, his head was on his arms and he slept.

I looked around. She didn’t come yet. The class was almost full. Maybe I was mistaken.

Suddenly, the class buzzed. I saw some boys whispered in happiness, or I thought so, some of them tried to call any names, some of them couldn’t stop staring at something. I looked at the entrance class, there were some girls standing gracefully near the door class. Who are they? 

“Kikwang ah!” I patted Kikwang’s shoulder.

“Oh?” Kikwang’s eyes looked almost red.

“Who are they?”

“Ah? Nugu?” Kikwang rubbed his eyes.

“They. Who are they?” I asked Kikwang again.

“Ah... They....” Seemed like Kikwang was already awake. “They are from Ballet Class. They’re so beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Ballet Class? They’re also taking this History Class?”

Those girls moved and sat on the seats in the first row, right exactly in front of me. As they moved, the people, mostly the boys stared at and chatted about them.

My heart skipped a beat. She was there. She is one of the Ballet Class students.

So it is really her. She is really here. She is real. She is not my imagination.

The History class started few seconds later. I just couldn’t stop staring at her. It was because I still couldn’t believe my eyes, I couldn’t believe with what I just saw. While, she just diligently took note. Not even a bit looked around or chatted. She just focused on listening to the lecturer.

The History class finished sooner than usual. It is just me, or it is really finished sooner than usual. I don’t even know. I just stared at her along that class.

Kikwang streched his body.

“Kikwang, I should go first!” I dashed out of the class, chased her.

“Eh?”

I ran to her. Ah, she’s there !

“Yoseobieeee....! Wait...” I heard kikwang ran behind me.

She turned her body. I stopped my steps right in front of her.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!” She screamed and punched my face. The next moment I remembered was all dark. I fainted.

***

“Oppa,oppa, come here!”

“What?”

“I made this for you...”

“What is this?”

“This is flower crown... So, you are the prince... and I’m the princess...”

“Oppa, oppa...”

“What?”

“This is from me... I made this with mom... This is special for you...”

“What is this? A pudding?”

“Eung...”

“Hmm... Delicious! You really made this?”

“Eung!”

“Oppa, oppa, this is for you...”

“What is this? A letter? Hey, where are you going? Why are you running?”

“Yoseob-ah... Yoseob-ah... Gwenchana?”

I slowly opened my eyes. My head was like spinnin around. My cheek was so in pain and I felt something inside my nose.
“Yoseob-ah... Are you okay?” 

I tried to recognize a face in front of me. It was still blurry but I knew his voice. Lee Kikwang, my best buddy.

I touch my left cheek. “Aoww!!”

“Don’t touch it. You’re hurt.” Suddenly someone came to me and put alchohol on my cheek.

“Aoww” I kept on moaning.

I gradually realized that a doctor was taking care of me and Kikwang was sitting on the chair beside my bed and my nose was bleeding before I woke up. 

“Just rest a little bit and you can go home.” That doctor left me and Kikwang.

“Ne, kamsahamnida.” Kikwang answered that doctor

“Where am I?” asking Kikwang while still lying on the bed.

“Infirmary.”

“So, we’re still in campus? I thought I’m in hospital.”

“Ya ! Neo! Neo michyeseo? Do you know what just happened with you?”

Actually, I didin’t really recall what just happened with me. I thought I saw many things. I saw a punch on my face, a little girl, flower crown, pudding, and letter. Then suddenly, I opened my eyes and found myself here.

“What happened?” I asked confusedly.

“You don’t really remember?” Kikwang looked at my face.

Knock! Knock!

“Excuse me...”

I woke and sat on my bed once I heard that voice.

A tall, slim, and slender woman came into infirmary room. Yet, she was old, because I saw some wrinkles around her eyes, she still looked beauiful.

“Are you Yang Yoseob?”

“Ne... Dangsineun nuguseyo?” I asked her back.

She immediately bowed his body to me. “I’m really sorry... One of my students punch you... I, on behalf of Ballet Class, really beg your apologize...”

I was so shocked. So shocked until my eyes would pop out. I slowly remembered what just happened with me. I was punched by a girl. I fainted, I guess. And those random things came when I was unconcious.

I kept silent. I still needed time to make myself fully sober.

“Ottae?” Kikwang poked my arm and whispered.

“A... Animnida... Gwenchanasseyo...” I didn’t know how to react to that ‘sudden attack’.

She straight her body and stared at me.

“Thank you for your kindness.” She smiled warmly.

“ If you still need further examination for your wound, you may have it, we will cover for every payment. You can also contact me here...” She handed me a business card.

Kim Hye Ji. A Ballet teacher. And some phone number. That’s what was written in the card.

“Ah... Ne... But, I think I’m okay.”

She smiled again. Warmly.

“Once again, we’re really sorry, and we hope you recover soon. I have to go now, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Ah... Ne... Kamsahamnida... Kim Hye Ji-ssi...”

She left infirmary room right after that.

“What was that?” asked Kikwang confusedly.

I just stared blankly at the infirmary door.

***

Few days after that incident, I still became the ‘trending topic’ around school. Some of them talked behind me, gossiped around me, and speculated about many things I didn’t even think to do. A made-up unrelieable story spread around the school like buzzing bees. The headline was “A beautiful and popular ballet class’ student give her magnificent punch to a random student”

And yes, that random student was no other than me...

And yes, they kept talking about it for almost a week. Their speculation were I tried to do something bad on her, or I was her crazy fanboy who stalked her and tried to touch her, or I said something very bad to her that made her angry, or any other speculations... I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I think I should clarify this. Well, I am just a random student in this vast Seoul School of Music and Dance, but still, I think I have the right to clear my name from bad rumor.

And, here I am. I sneaked out on Ballet Class. Ballet Class was located in the building in the most south of any other building. This is a two-storey building and not as big as other buildings, but this is a beautiful building with elegant and glamour interior design, so European. I was a little mistaken, even though it is not a really big building comparing to others, it still has many large rooms which I believe most rooms are used for practicing ballet. Some rooms are just medium size which may be used for class or lockers rooms or other. Ok, I’m enough analyzing this building. I have to find her, I thought.

There were a group of girls practicing in every room I passed. But, yet I still didn’t find her. I walked to the stairs in the corner of the building. This second floor only have few medium size room which were used for class, and office room.

I almost ended my tour in this Ballet Class building when somebody called my name.

“Yang Yoseob-ssi?”

I turned my body in shocked.

I gulped my saliva. “Kim... Hye...Ji...ssi...” I stuttered.

“What are you doing here?”

“I...”

She smiled as warmly as ever. “We can talk in my office. Come, follow me.”

Suddenly, classes over and many girls walked out from their class. They stared at me in shocked and confused. Some of them whispered about the incident few days ago. My bruise is still here on my cheek and I sometimes still feel the pain. I followed Kim Hye Ji-ssi in silence hoping that this corridor would end soon, hoping that I could reach her office immeadiately.

“Have a seat, please.”, she said as I entered her office.

I sat on the couch in front of her desk.

“Please, wait a minute.” She said as she dialled numbers on the phone.

I looked around the office. A small yet comfortable room. Not many stuffs in this room. But I saw there are many photos hanging on the wall. I believe they are her photos because almost all the photos are photos of girls doing ballet. Maybe they are her photos from her childhood to her teenage or youth life when she still did ballet.

“So, Yang Yoseob-ssi. What brings you here?” she asked me as soon as she hang the phone.

I turned my gaze at her.

“Ah... It was because... the... spreading rumor...” I stuttered even more. What happened with me?

She nodded, walked, and sat on the couch in front of me. We were just separated with a glass table which have a vase and a white flower in it.

“I knew about the rumor... Don’t worry about the rumor... It will eventually vanish even before you realize it...”

Knock. Knock. Someone knocked the door.

“Excuse me, Hye Ji-ssi... Can I come in?”

I turned my head on the voice. She stood there. In front of the door. That familiar face. The face I used to know.

***